A Good One

They say a good man is hard to find. Well, my mother found one.

My parents met in high school. They were 15 and 16 years old. They married on December 21, 1950 when they were 20 and 22. Daddy was stationed in Albuquerque, New Mexico in the Army at the time and Mom was in college in Farmville, Virginia. Daddy said his sergeant wasn't going to let him leave for his wedding so he had to get the chaplain to intervene on his behalf. After a brief honeymoon at the Hotel Roanoke in Roanoke, Virginia, he returned to New Mexico and she to college. That summer, Mom headed to the University of New Mexico for summer school. Later that year, Daddy was discharged from the Army and returned to Virginia while Mom finished college. 

This was their beginning. The rest they say is history. 

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may remember this post from January 2013 - Impeccable Timing - regarding what I had dreaded most with our move to Ohio in 2009 and leaving my parents behind. This cardiac event started Daddy and our family on the Vascular Dementia journey. As the months passed after Daddy had "the widow maker", was a Code Blue and was resuscitated, Mom began to see cognitive changes and made the very difficult decision to move to Ohio to be close to me. I'm their only child and was relieved that they made this choice. They made the move the first of December 2013.

Daddy's Vascular Dementia journey lasted 8 years, 10 months. We lost him slowly over this time. He never really adjusted to the move and constantly wanted to go back home. Another post you might remember - Enough Already, 2020! - describes a horrendous time for all of us. March was a really shitty (excuse that word but it is just most fitting) month for us. Thanks to COVID-19, visitation with Daddy since his placement was on again, off again. Even with both vaccines on board, he tested positive October 18th with a cough as his only symptom and was moved to the COVID Unit in his building. He was there two weeks before testing negative on November 1st and moving back to his regular room. After that, he just wasn't the same. His light was a little dimmer, the confusion in his eyes and face a little more pronounced. Things went downhill pretty quickly and hospice was called in on November 17th. A week later on November 24th, he died with me standing by his side. I whispered in his ear that I had this - I would watch over Mom and I would keep his keys, rings, and wallet safe*. I told him to find Lily** and let her walk him home. I had just taken Mom home and had returned to his room. I will always wonder if his timing was once again impeccable. She was his rock for 76 years - maybe he waited for her to leave so she wouldn't have to witness his last breaths - protecting her 'til the end.

Today, I will pick up my Daddy which will be the start of the final leg of his journey. Mom and I will take his cremains to Virginia for burial next week. 

Daddy,

You weren't just a good one. You were the best! And, you are finally going home.

Love you forever and always,

Robin

*He used to have the nurse call me just about every night and he would ask me where his keys, rings, and wallet were. I made a sign for his room to reassure him that I had them for safe-keeping. The sign didn't make any difference. I miss those calls.

**Lily was Mom and Daddy's precious Maltese-Chihuahua mix that we had put to sleep March 2020. She was 17 years old and Daddy loved her dearly. In fact, he was seeing/talking to her in his last days. I choose to believe that she was waiting for him. 

Comments

[Dr. and Mrs. C. B. Strange]

Robin, What a sweet remembrance of your dad! We agree with you that Fred was a kind and wonderful man and we are so glad that we had the pleasure of knowing him. Love, Dr. and Mrs. Strange

[Robin Crittenden]

I know it was hard letting him go. Safe travels to Virginia. I'll be praying for you.

[Taylor H]

❤️