2020. I hardly know what to say. The year started off quietly and unsuspecting. January passed. February, too. Then March happened.
March - what a month! Mom turned 90 years young then just several days later we had to put their dear pup, Lily, to sleep. She was 17 years old, deaf, had a malignant tumor and diabetes. She still loved going for her walks and never missed a meal. I think she may have had another tumor in a different location. She became sick and the next day, after returning home from the vet, had a stroke or seizure and was unable to stand up. I took Lily, Mom and Daddy to the Care Center Emergency Vet. They recommended that she be put to sleep because they couldn't give her any quality of life. Lily had 17 wonderful years and the joy she provided was immeasurable. She was a sweet and wonderful pup. I must say, she had impeccable timing - it was like she knew what was ahead for us.
Not even a week later, Mom was admitted to the hospital for another GI bleed. If you remember back, she had a time during 2018 (80 days inpatient) but made it through 2019 without a single hospitalization. They discharged her two days later only for me to carry her back to the ER the next day. She stayed eight nights in all. The question for us has always been "what will we do with Daddy" if she had to be hospitalized again. The evening she was admitted for the second time, I had to make the tough decision to place Daddy in memory care at the senior community where they live. He just can't stay by himself and I can't be there 24/7. I had to hand him off to a nurse at the door that night - one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
The Coronavirus was just gaining speed when Mom was first hospitalized. They went from allowing visitors, to only one visitor, to no visitors. Their senior community was placed on quarantine. When Mom was discharged the second time, I brought her home with me. I just couldn't let her go back to her independent living apartment where there would be no Lily, no Daddy, and she couldn't associate with any of the other residents. She is still here at our house and we're trying to time her return just right. Once she returns to her apartment, she'll have to self-quarantine for fourteen days. We're trying to schedule/complete any necessary appointments before she returns. If she's on Day 14 of her self-quarantine and has to go off campus for an appointment, her 14-day count will start over. Ugh! Once she returns to her place, I won't even be able to go in/out. She'll be pretty much isolated except for her phone.
We've talked with Daddy by phone and we've had video chats with him. I've had a couple of window visits. He doesn't know yet that this is going to be a permanent placement - keeps asking us when we're coming to get him. Breaks my heart. I just can't allow myself to think about it right now. It's just too much. So, I keep smiling - put a smile in my voice when I talk with him and blame the virus - "no one is going anywhere right now", "you're in a good place where people can take care of you, fix your meals, etc." It's tough! This was not in the Only Child Handbook!
To top it all off, Andy has been furloughed. He had wanted to retire May 1st but then asked to stay on so we can have some income and insurance through the end of the year. The answer was no. Darn!
Andy and I had our 36th wedding anniversary this week. For better or worse or pandemic, right? I look forward to a dinner out in a restaurant whenever to celebrate.
Our Ohio Governor DeWine and Dr. Amy Acton have been wonderful in how they have handled this pandemic. They've made painful and often unpopular decisions which they have explained to the public during their daily briefings with honesty and compassion. I, along with most all Ohioans, appreciate their updates. I also greatly admire them and would not want to be in their positions. We are basically staying at home, wearing masks when we venture out, wearing gloves to pump gas, maintaining social distance when we have to go out, and washing our hands non-stop! And, for the record, I've bought only one large pack of toilet paper, no paper towels, no wipes, and no hand sanitizer!
I'm using this time to focus my energy on getting Mom stronger, hoping Daddy stays well, and also praying fervently that I stay healthy so I can help them.
I'm filling my time with knitting and watercolor painting and am grateful for the concentration these two past-times require. Both are
very meditative - the watercolor perhaps more so than knitting. Trying to hone my skills, I've been doing tiny little paintings from daily prompts, keeping a calendar with small paintings, and taking watercolor classes online. These have been a lot of fun! We are so fortunate to have access to technology that connects us all with just a click or two - Google Duo, Zoom, Facebook Video through Messenger, Skype, FaceTime, etc. I've learned more about these different options than I ever thought I'd know! I've knit on Zoom with different groups, met with art friends via Facebook Messenger Video, had video chats with Daddy via Google Duo, and visited with my sons, daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren via FaceTime. If we have to be quarantined, I'm thankful it's now and not years ago!
I've planted lots of lettuce. It's really too early for anything else but I couldn't resist the urge and planted three tomato plants. The lettuces are doing fine but it didn't take the tomato plants long before they froze. Not my fault we had highs in the 60s-70s before temps returned to overnight lows in the 20s-30s. Those warm temperatures gave me a false sense of planting security! The daffodils have been pretty and they'll have to tide me over until everything else starts blooming.
You know the saying, "Misery loves company"? Well, I guess I agree with that. I find it somewhat comforting that I'm not in this boat alone. That others are going through the same thing. That we all can commiserate with each other - have empathy for each other's situation.
It's true - we're all in this together. And, also true - this too shall pass.
Enough already, 2020! You've definitely made your mark.
I hope to see each of you on the other side of this as we find and adjust to our new normal.
Stay healthy!
Wash your hands!
Love you and thanks for reading!
(Coronavirus Data as of 9:00 PM tonight: United States - Confirmed Cases 675,243; Recovered 55,561; Deaths 34,562)
Dear friend,
Your post was hard to write I know. You've had most every bump in the road this year and you are still doing a great job. Becoming the parent is one of the toughest jobs I have ever had. Your folks are very lucky to have you and they know it too. I am so glad you are taking the time for yourself! That was the hardest thing I had to learn with Mom. Keep doing that....and screaming in the shower as needed (that was a huge help for me!). You are not alone on this journey. There are millions of us who have done this, will do this, and will become part of this big picture. Stay safe. Give your folks a hug and Nabs to Shirley!
Posted by: Jackie | April 17, 2020 at 10:26 AM