News From The Nest

My Mother, the Tough Cookie

My last post was announcing the death of my father. This post is to note, months later, that my mother died in May of this year - just shy of six months after my father. They left me. Just me. No siblings. I feel their absence deeper and deeper with each passing day. Not sure that’s good or normal. It’s a horrific loss. They were my fan club. I miss them terribly but realize how fortunate I was to have them for so long. Mom was 92 when she died and Daddy 93. 

Mom had a mechanical mitral valve replacement in 2009 which required her to be on Coumadin, a blood thinner, to keep the valve open. If the valve were to clot, she’d have a stroke. She’d been hospitalized so many times since that procedure due to internal bleeding - usually intestinal and extremely difficult to find and/or stop. This always placed her between a rock and a very hard place - bleeding but needing the blood thinner to keep the valve open and functioning.

This time, she had two different admissions through the ER - first one on Monday, April 25th with a hemoglobin (Hgb) of 6.8 (normal range is 12-16 gm/dL). During this admission, she had a bleeding scan where they thought they saw the source. When they did an endoscopy to try to fix the problem, they couldn’t see the source but did attempt to add a fix to the area that was usually problematic. She was discharged to a rehab facility at her senior community on Thursday, April 28th. On Tuesday, May 3rd, Mom was once again admitted via the ER for bleeding but this time with a Hgb of 4.9. Things were not looking good. 

In the wee hours of May 4th (roughly 3:30 AM with Mom having been admitted to the hospital for the second time), I was leaving the hospital and crossing the big parking lot to my car. There was something that looked like a quarter or a half-dollar directly in my path. I bent to pick it up and immediately broke out in goosebumps. It was a pig coin. My father, who you may remember died on November 24, 2021, was a policeman. When people began referring to the police as pigs, Daddy started collecting them. He had over a hundred made out of everything - clay, wood, crystal, coal, etc. etc. People gifted him pigs. He even wore a pig tie-tack with his uniform. There was/is absolutely no worldly explanation for me finding this coin. The coin that was so directly in my path that I would have stepped on it had I not picked it up. I stood there in the parking lot, looking up, with the coin in my hand and told Daddy not to worry, I would take care of her and would be there with her. His beloved Shirley whom he had loved since he was 16 years of age and been married to for 70+ years.  

It was a vicious circle - she had 7 units of blood in all and they drew blood every 6-8 hours around the clock to check her Hgb. So, they’d giveth and then they’d taketh away. Her Hgb would go up and then down again. Finally, we made the decision to stop the blood thinner and her other medications and called in hospice. She was once again discharged to the rehab facility at her senior community on May 13th. She passed away on May 17th with me by her side. I have had the privilege of being with both of my parents as they took their last breaths. They were there when I entered this world and I was there when they exited. Wouldn’t have traded those moments for anything. 

My mother was an angel on earth. A woman who believed in “pretty is as pretty does” and who always thought of other people. To the very end, she was sending emails and cards to celebrate a friend’s birthday or wish them well. The day before she passed, with me sitting nearby knitting, she played on her iPad, checked Facebook, watched her favorite DIY blogs, and dozed. While she was dozing, it was like she was having a party! Her facial expressions were very animated and I heard her talking to Lily (their precious dog we had to put to sleep in 2020) and others. She would wake herself up talking. When I asked her with whom she was talking, she’d recount the conversation word for word including the person’s name. These conversations she was so animatedly having were with friends who had all passed. The veil was thinning. 

The pig coin and the conversations are proof to me that life continues - just in another form. I am their legacy. They live on through me. 

Mom’s memorial service, exactly six months after my father’s, was lovely. She used to teach decoupage classes are a local craft shop and her urn looked as if she had made it. It was beautiful. The service was held at Mt. Vernon United Methodist Church in Danville, Virginia. The church she joined in 1937 at the age of 7 and was married in in 1950. The organist/pianist was a man who taught music at one of her schools and his wife had been a student of Mom’s in her early years of teaching. The vocalist sang Mom and Daddy’s high school song, “If I Had My Way”. I had Mom’s handwritten “famous” Snappy Cheese Wafer recipe copied and inserted into each bulletin for people attending. I then placed the recipe, along with a note to Daddy, inside her urn and buried it with her. 

I wrote/read the following about her and I’d like to share it with you ——-

                                                       My Mother, the Tough Cookie

My mother. Shirley, Holmonee, Momma, Mom. She referred to herself as “tough cookie” and she was. She was a loving and caring daughter, and daughter-in-law to her parents and in-laws. She was a working mother who always found time for Daddy and me. She accepted two little grandsons from South Korea with all her heart and told everyone she could about them. Over the last ten or so years, she endured many hospitalizations related to her mechanical heart valve and the blood-thinner she had to take to keep it open. She watched as a Code Blue was called on Daddy and he was resuscitated in 2013. I’ll never forget the heart-wrenching voicemail she left me as she was pushed up against the wall witnessing the horrifying events of that morning taking place before her. After Daddy’s Vascular Dementia diagnosis, she made the very difficult decision to leave the Grove Park home they built and moved into two weeks before my birth. She made this decision seem easy but I knew it was anything but. She bore the grief of separation when we placed Daddy in Memory Care and then COVID shut the world and the facility down. It was 370 days before she could sit beside him, touch/hug/kiss him again. Then, finally, she bore the ultimate grief of losing her husband of 70+ years. 

The “tough cookie” made the absolute best of any and all situations. She always saw the best in everything and everyone. She was the strongest woman I’ve ever known. 

She was a teacher, a planner, and an organizer. Her spices were alphabetized and she had an inventory list for her pantry checking items in an out so she’d know what she had. She had me bring the “funeral folder” to the hospital during the last weeks of her life. She looked through everything to make sure I had the information I needed to plan her service. She even made me type up her obituary so she could proofread it. The Daddy in me told her, “You know I can rewrite it, don’t you?” She asked me what I would say. I told her that I would simply write, “She was a tough cookie, but she has finally crumbled.” 

My mother believed in God, her family, her friends, good people, a good recipe, a good book, luncheons, thank-you notes, and Oil of Olay. The kind in the pink bottle. She was also the kindest woman and she lived to do for others. Little kindnesses - a card, a treat in a neighbor’s mailbox, a “thinking of you” phone call, an email, a jar of flowers free for the taking, etc. She loved email and Facebook and keeping in touch with everyone. Making others happy made her happy. 

My mother - the “tough cookie”. She loved life and it loved her right back.

During Mom’s last few days, a link popped up on Facebook for The Day She Dies. I read it and was so moved. I wrote the author and told her my mother was ill and would like permission to share it. I didn’t know it would be just days before I did. 

I write all this today to get it out of me and recorded. Hug your loved ones a bit tighter today, call those you haven’t spoken with in a bit, send a card or an email. Life is so very precious. 

As always, thank you for reading.

A Good One

They say a good man is hard to find. Well, my mother found one.

My parents met in high school. They were 15 and 16 years old. They married on December 21, 1950 when they were 20 and 22. Daddy was stationed in Albuquerque, New Mexico in the Army at the time and Mom was in college in Farmville, Virginia. Daddy said his sergeant wasn't going to let him leave for his wedding so he had to get the chaplain to intervene on his behalf. After a brief honeymoon at the Hotel Roanoke in Roanoke, Virginia, he returned to New Mexico and she to college. That summer, Mom headed to the University of New Mexico for summer school. Later that year, Daddy was discharged from the Army and returned to Virginia while Mom finished college. 

This was their beginning. The rest they say is history. 

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may remember this post from January 2013 - Impeccable Timing - regarding what I had dreaded most with our move to Ohio in 2009 and leaving my parents behind. This cardiac event started Daddy and our family on the Vascular Dementia journey. As the months passed after Daddy had "the widow maker", was a Code Blue and was resuscitated, Mom began to see cognitive changes and made the very difficult decision to move to Ohio to be close to me. I'm their only child and was relieved that they made this choice. They made the move the first of December 2013.

Daddy's Vascular Dementia journey lasted 8 years, 10 months. We lost him slowly over this time. He never really adjusted to the move and constantly wanted to go back home. Another post you might remember - Enough Already, 2020! - describes a horrendous time for all of us. March was a really shitty (excuse that word but it is just most fitting) month for us. Thanks to COVID-19, visitation with Daddy since his placement was on again, off again. Even with both vaccines on board, he tested positive October 18th with a cough as his only symptom and was moved to the COVID Unit in his building. He was there two weeks before testing negative on November 1st and moving back to his regular room. After that, he just wasn't the same. His light was a little dimmer, the confusion in his eyes and face a little more pronounced. Things went downhill pretty quickly and hospice was called in on November 17th. A week later on November 24th, he died with me standing by his side. I whispered in his ear that I had this - I would watch over Mom and I would keep his keys, rings, and wallet safe*. I told him to find Lily** and let her walk him home. I had just taken Mom home and had returned to his room. I will always wonder if his timing was once again impeccable. She was his rock for 76 years - maybe he waited for her to leave so she wouldn't have to witness his last breaths - protecting her 'til the end.

Today, I will pick up my Daddy which will be the start of the final leg of his journey. Mom and I will take his cremains to Virginia for burial next week. 

Daddy,

You weren't just a good one. You were the best! And, you are finally going home.

Love you forever and always,

Robin

*He used to have the nurse call me just about every night and he would ask me where his keys, rings, and wallet were. I made a sign for his room to reassure him that I had them for safe-keeping. The sign didn't make any difference. I miss those calls.

**Lily was Mom and Daddy's precious Maltese-Chihuahua mix that we had put to sleep March 2020. She was 17 years old and Daddy loved her dearly. In fact, he was seeing/talking to her in his last days. I choose to believe that she was waiting for him. 

Continuing On

Well, if you're reading this, you survived 2020. Congratulations! You might have made it through by only the skin of your teeth but you did it! That right there is an accomplishment. Now is the time to rest, gather our strength, and not give in. We have to stay tough well into 2021. I'm a firm believer that we will fight through this and come out the other side stronger for it.

Have you had the COVID-19 vaccine yet? Andy and I are waiting to be able to try to sign up / try to find it. From what I'm seeing and hearing, it's not going to be easy. Mom and Daddy have completed both doses. Neither had as much as a sore arm which was great. They are still unable to visit face-to-face and I'm wondering when that will be allowed. (Photo to the left shows Mom talking with Daddy via FaceTime on their 70th wedding anniversary in December.)

To reflect on 2020 - it was a helluva year to say the very least and it was made more difficult by the politicization of the virus by the president and his administration. I, for one, am so glad we again have a leader who believes in science and data, reading intelligence briefings, listening to others, being kind to one another, surrounding himself with intelligent people and actually valuing their opinions. 

In 2020 - in March to be specific - we had to put Mom and Daddy's 17-year old dog to sleep, Mom had two hospitalizations within a ten-day period, then I handed over Daddy to the nurses at the memory care facility. If March 2020 was an emoji, it would be the pile of poop one! Our "new normal" is one without Daddy. One where he constantly asks when we're coming to get him. He is 92 but doesn't know it. Dementia is a heartbreaking disease for everyone involved. Mom or I or Mom and I call him daily and we FaceTime with him one-two times per week. I occasionally will go to his window where I can talk with him by phone. It is what it is and we're trying to deal with it the best we can. 

We spent the holidays without seeing our children or grandchildren. I know we're among good company in this regard. That's okay - we'll wait. For now. Hopefully, by summertime, it will be safe for the grands to come stay with us again. Again, we can wait.

So far, we're making it. Others have not been as fortunate. People lost loved ones. I have a friend who lost a brother and another who lost a husband to this virus. Our community lost a wonderful cardiologist. A lot of people have had to find their "new normal". Since my last blog post on November 7, 2020, the confirmed cases of COVID-19 in the US has increased by almost 16,000,000 and the deaths by 190,000. It's so hard for me even to fathom that in just over two and a half months, almost 200,000 Americans have lost their lives and families have lost loved ones. As heartbreaking and difficult as it is, time marches on. I know it feels like we're treading through knee-deep mud. 

Was there good that came out of 2020? I like to think so. I love the stories I see on the news about people rallying to help their neighbors and even strangers in need. Everyday heroes. I tried to brighten people's days by picking and sharing flowers out of my garden with Mom's neighbors at her senior living community and also with other people that I felt were isolated. I think of the nurses and other frontline workers on a daily basis and wonder how I would feel if I was still working in the hospital. My heart goes out to each of them and to their families. I have loved watching people sing, applaud, and play instruments when shifts change at various hospitals across the country. Small ways to try to honor those that give SO SO SO much. 

Other new things, Andy hasn't shaved since he was laid off last spring and is now sporting an impressive beard. I am still maintaining my sourdough starter that I began last April. I bake something from it about once a week - pizza dough, English muffins, bagels, flatbread, crackers, Dutch Baby, etc. Usually, it's bread so I can take a loaf/boule to Mom. Last week, I baked one for us and then one for Mom and one for her neighbor upstairs in her apartment building. (Photos: Top right is of Mom, Andy, and me on Christmas Eve. The one below is of last week's three boules - Sourdough Sun-dried Tomato and Basil bread.)

I'm trying to make up for lost time re: my artwork. The art community has been amazing! Since in-person classes, workshops, retreats, etc. have all been canceled, the art community shifted to online. Instagram, Facebook, Zoom, WebEx, etc. have all been awesome places to host educational offerings. I've enjoyed classes, interviews, demos, and sketch-alongs with art teachers in England, Ireland, California, Washington, Virginia, Canada, Hong Kong, and other US states and countries around the world.

I've been able to "armchair travel" and have "toured" Holland, Transylvania, Germany, Scottish Highlands, and a few other countries via Girl Travel Tours. I even went on an African Safari! Since no one can travel, tour guides are suffering losses of income, as well. So, Marah, of Girl Travel Tours, hosts virtual tours that are led by actual tour guides in whatever country that's being visited. Win-win situation! If you're interested in taking any of these "tours", please visit her website or her Facebook page. Donations to the tour guides are appreciated for live "tours" and you can find recorded tours on her website. 

I so appreciate all the efforts people have made to provide entertainment, education, and stimulation for the rest of us. The expense they've had in buying microphones, lighting, cameras, etc. and the extent of work they've done to learn how to use all these avenues like Zoom all for the purpose of sharing themselves and their skills. Some have been free of charge and others for purchase. I hope it's been and will continue to be worth it to each and every one of them. Having all these online opportunities has kept me sane!

I'm still knitting but find that painting is occupying a lot of my time. Two different kinds of zen / focus. That said, my sock yarn blanket that I usually work on every now and then was the only thing I could stand to knit during the first six months or so of the pandemic. It was comforting - I knew the pattern and it took no time to complete a square. Result - my blanket doubled in size! More recently, I began a lace stole where every section is a different stitch. I also have a shawl I'm knitting for a friend for her son's wedding in June. There's never a shortage of knitting projects! So many things needing to be finished!

I completed my 2020 Daily Smalls - an illustrated diary with one page for each month - and began a new one for 2021. So many people were interested in the Daily Smalls that I created a Facebook group. It's such a warm personable group of members. All of us sharing our days with one another. I'm currently taking a six-week landscape course with Rick Surowicz. (Photo of the painting above left was my latest homework assignment for Rick's class.)  Today was week four so two more to go and I need to decide whether or not to sign up for his next session. 

One thing I'm not doing as much as I used to is reading. I have a couple books going of different types and usually read while eating breakfast. I'm still a work in progress! I want to read more, meditate, do yoga, lose weight (ugh!), get my soap studio straight so I can get back in the soap pot, clean the rest of my house and sort out Mom and Daddy's things, .......... The list is ongoing! 

(Photos to the right - Gracie happily catnapping unaware of all the feathery activities outside at the ground feeder! The positions she gets in are very entertaining to watch!)

So, to close, Happy New Year to each and every one of you reading this. My wish and hope is that you stay safe and strong during these challenging times. Thanks so much for reading For the Love of Fiber!

Today

As the sun sets on this day, I find myself reflecting. I have never considered myself a very political person. This year, however, I penned thirty postcards urging people to vote and reminding of the important dates to register, for early voting, and Election Day. I also worked the polls on November 3rd.

Over the last few years, it has been more and more apparent that we have two Americas. It's been very upsetting to come to this realization. Have I had blinders on all these years?

We seem to have one America that feeds the rich and corporate greed. That cares little about science, research, data, climate change, environmental impact and consequences. This America calls names at the other side pitting "blue" states against "red" ones and belittles, degrades, and divides us. This side doesn't seem to care much about correcting the disparity of wealth and well-being in our nation. This side doesn't seem to care much about humanity - about its fellow men/women. This side votes Republican. The Republican party is not what it used to be - certainly not since 2016. It has very plainly become more of a fascist demagogue party supporting advancements to themselves and the big corporations that pay them. I have watched over and over again as they have very plainly put party over principle while ignoring the best interest of the people of this country. 

The other side seems to see more of a united nation - not signaling out the different parties or states. They seem to be more concerned about the plight of humanity and the disparity of wealth and health and actually doing something about the issues. 

The past four years has had me doing a lot of soul searching into what I believe about this nation and myself. A lot of end opinions have been formed by what I've seen that I do not like and cannot tolerate. The name-calling, bullying, constant lying, and absolute despicable behavior from the head of our country has sickened me. I wouldn't tolerate it in my children nor in my friends so why would this be acceptable in a man who is supposed to represent our nation? The ignorance of science and fact and people who are in positions that they are totally unqualified for has been reprehensible. The blind-eyes and party-over-principle mentality have been mind-blowing to watch and impossible to explain. 

I hope today signals brighter times ahead. I feel that our new president will bring back the UNITED states and there will be no more "red" vs. "blue" in the way he leads. I firmly believe that when we take care of the lesser of us, we are ALL better off. I believe this administration will be full of qualified, intelligent, knowledgeable people who will address climate change, health care, environmental issues, our economy, our infrastructure, and, finally, COVID-19. 

It's difficult to even wrap my head around the COVID numbers - today with a total of 9,893,570 confirmed cases and 237,034 deaths in the United States. My worry is that in the next months, the out-going president and administration will only concern themselves with trying to finagle a way to stay in office (even though we clearly have a new winner) and will ignore the current crisis we are in. Actually, they're ignoring the pandemic now and have failed miserably in their handling of this national health crisis. Friends have lost loved ones. I haven't, but will I? Will I contract the virus myself?

2020 has been nothing if not sobering. Yes, we have a new president but what about all the people who adored / still adore the out-going one? 

Not one of us is perfect and these are my opinions - my reflections. We are flawed but must be willing to see and admit it. If we don't, we can't work on it. And work on it, we must. 

I hope 2021 will be a year of healing for our nation. We so desperately need it.

Happy Fall, Y'all

Well, it's fall. Whether it's happy or not is a matter of opinion, I guess. With COVID-19 still among us with increasing cases daily and the looming election tension, it's enough to make even a devout teetotaler get sloshed!

In addition to learning how to navigate Zoom, WebEx, and Google Duo, I've learned a lot during these COVID months. I've learned that I really don't need to go and do all the running about that I used to and can be perfectly happy staying at home. We have swapped dining out for take-out meals. We mask up and go where/when
it's absolutely necessary - grocery store, pick up prescriptions, doctor appointments, to take Mom to her appointments or to help her, and to visit Daddy. Sometimes, it's just too peoplely (my new word for 2020) out there. I've expanded ways to entertain myself - jigsaw puzzles, watercolor painting, tending to birdfeeders and nest boxes, watching all the birds, heartfulness meditation classes, walks, reading, sourdough breadmaking, sketching, gardening, knitting, FaceTime and Zoom check-ins and classes, and occasionally cleaning my house. We did manage to get to the beach (Emerald Isle, NC) in August. Both of our boys and their families were going to be there so nothing could have kept me home. It had been FOUR years since we'd all been together. We only had a couple days with them but it was wonderful!!! 

We have been well - so far. Daddy turned 92-years old earlier this month. I keep holding my breath as the numbers trend upward and there seems to be a new case - today there were five reported - at Mom and Daddy's senior living community daily. The community has been very proactive and has only had 42 cases cumulatively. They have roughly 600-800 residents in all living situations - independent, assisted, transitional, memory, skilled nursing - so have done very well. I think most of these cases have been asymptomatic to moderate. We are still allowed window visits with Daddy and they just restarted courtyard visits with all the precautions. It's getting a bit chilly and I hope for Mom's sake, they start letting us have visits indoors. His burning question at every contact - via phone or in-person - is "When are you gonna get me outta here?"

I've also learned there is a distinct lack of respect and civility toward our fellow man/woman (those in charge and those of us trying to do the right thing) in this country. This, perhaps, has been the most disturbing thing I've learned. Maybe being a registered nurse with years of experience in public health makes it hit deeper with me. I don't know. What I do know is that in all my years, I've never quite felt such a gut-wrenching and heartbreaking response to what I witness/read/hear on almost a daily basis. It saddens me deeply and I weep inwardly for this country hoping that we will learn and be/do better. We are not as great a country as we think we are. We have a lot to learn and implement. I'll just leave it at that and hope for peace. 

This year, the autumn colors have been exceptional. The last few years were dry and a good rain would come and just strip the color right off the trees. Not this year. It's been beautiful! We made a day trip to Zoar, Ohio and enjoyed touring the historic village. The village was founded in 1817 by a group of over 200 German Separatists seeking escape from religious persecution in their homeland. Very interesting, great lunch at the tavern there, and such a beautiful drive to and from. 

Andy has been busy working to finish the barn. It was a shell with a dirt floor and not closed in all the way around. Now it is completely closed in with cement footers and cement ramps at the doors and the gutters are up. He has it divided inside - the front section now has a cement floor, is insulated, and has walls and a ceiling and will serve as Andy's forge and machine shop. He will add a half-bath in this part, as well. There is a wall with a door between this section and the back part which will have a gravel floor and house our old pontoon boat, mowers, etc. 

I've been busy trying to improve my watercolor skills. It's a different kind of focus when compared to knitting. I'm really enjoying it but am sad that the in-person classes I was taking stopped. Thank goodness for Zoom classes! The art community has gone above and beyond embracing the online format for tutorials, live demonstrations, workshops, and classes. It has kept me sane! I do little daily paintings (Doodlewash prompts) and what I call Daily Smalls. I treat my Daily Smalls like an illustrated diary. I paint something from my
day and then write a few things I did that day. I started these in January and have thoroughly enjoyed looking back at the months.

Mom and I have also had a great time flower-bombing Terrace Place. I pick and take lots of flowers to her and she puts them in bottles and places them out in the hallway of her apartment building for her neighbors to take. We've done this about 8 or so times over the summer. It's brought joy to us and to the recipients. Who doesn't love flowers?!

Recently, I've discovered Girl Travel Tours. Marah, who led tours with her Girl Scouts and their parents and also adult-only trips, is trying to support the travel/tour industry since we can't go anywhere. These virtual tours have been great! So far, I've been on an African Safari, to New Zealand, and to Germany. Next week, I'm going to Transylvania! Upcoming tours - Scottish Highlands, Japan, Berlin, etc. Exciting! Armchair travel. The tours are led by actual tour guides in the various countries and have been so knowledgeable with their presentations and when answering everyone's questions at the end. The tours are free but tips for the travel guides are appreciated. You can attend the tours live on her Facebook page or catch the recorded versions on her website (previous link).

What are you all doing during this pandemic time? Are you having to school children at home? Have you learned anything new / taken up any new hobbies? Activities? Coping skills?  

Stay strong and well. Thanks for reading and I hope to be back soon! 

Mother, To Mother

The word - mother. Is it a noun, a verb, a status? On this Mother's Day, let's investigate this word.

When I look up the definition of 'mother', I find a variety of information. 

• "One's female parent."
• "A female who has given birth to offspring."
• "To give origin or rise to."
• "A female parent of an animal."
• "A structure, such as a mother cell, from which other similar bodies are formed."
• "A stringy slime containing various bacteria that forms on the surface of liquids undergoing acetous fermentation."
• "A person or thing that is very large, powerful, or impressive."
• "To nurture, protect, etc. as a mother."

Everyone associates Mother's Day with someone who has given birth to children. In my case, that wasn't to be. I remember when I worked as a nurse in Labor & Delivery, we were trying to get pregnant. Pregnancy seemed to happen to everyone else but never to me. We sought out infertility options, I had surgery, but in the end, we took a different avenue. 

On this day, I've always been sensitive to those who don't have children where we celebrate those who do. Maybe it's because my becoming a mother didn't follow what you might call "the natural path". When I was a child, there was a woman who lived just down the street and around the corner who didn't have children. She became a mother to every child in our neighborhood. It was her instinct to nurture us and we all loved her. 

In 1988, I became a mother to two boys through adoption from South Korea. My boys were not newborns - which to this day knocks out all birthday cards that start "When I first held you in my arms..." or "When you were just a baby...". They were 4 and 5 years of age and arrived walking, running, climbing and talking a different language! Yep. We went from 0 to 2 active children overnight! I was all of a sudden a 'mother'. Not a birth mother. Not a biological mother. I was an adoptive mother. 

To me, I've always been a 'mother'. I've always been one to take care of others. Others includes a whole host of things - house plants, pets, friends, sourdough starter (see definition #6 above), etc. The definition that I associate more with being a mother is the last one above - "To nurture, protect, etc. as a mother." To me, that about sums it up. I might add just one thing to that definition - "To nurture, protect, to love unconditionally, etc. as a mother."

So, in summary of this day --- Happy Mother's Day to all women who "mother" children, neighbors, friends, those in need, pets, plants, gardens, yourselves, etc. Today celebrates Mothers and those who "mother".  That mother spirit - that nurturing spirit - that is so giving of self to others. This is OUR day!!

(Photos: The photo above is of our new family in 1988. Mother's Day that year was one week following the boys' arrival from South Korea. You can see the English/Korean Dictionary peeping out of Andy's shirt pocket! The photo below is of my Momma and me taken this morning to record this day for us.)

Time Marches On

Time is marching on! It feels kind of strange that it's May - feels that we skipped right over April.

On the gardening front - Lettuce is doing well. I'm waiting for it to get a bit bigger before harvesting any. I added more plants to the veggie garden Saturday. I should be set except I broke the stem of the Jelly Bean cherry tomato plant as I put it into the ground. I'll have to go get another one as I really want to try this variety. There are a few bare spots in the flower garden where something or another didn't make it through the winter. I'll fill those spots soon. I can't imagine why everything didn't make it through this mild winter we had. Even my potted mint, rosemary, and parsley made it through with no problem. 

We've been enjoying a variety of birds at the feeders. During dinner, it's like watching a movie through the windows. I feed Safflower, Black-Oiled Sunflower, Thistle, Peanuts in the Shell, and Suet so we attract lots of different appetites. Added to the regulars we've had Rose-Breasted Grosbeaks for the last several days. They're so pretty but will soon continue their migration. In this photo on the left, you can see a Rose-Breasted Grosbeak peeping around the feeder. You can also see two Red-Bellied Woodpeckers hanging upside down on the suet feeder. Very unusual to see two at a time like this. I'm still waiting for my first hummingbird of the season. My feeders have been hanging for weeks but I haven't spied any yet. A couple evenings ago, there was a beautiful hawk sitting down by the pond. He stayed in that spot for quite some time.

Last night, the sunset was absolutely spectacular! It sets across the road from the front of our house and that light coming through the front windows and door makes the interior glow. When I noticed how rosy it was turning inside, I grabbed my phone and went outside to take a picture. It was just breathtaking!  

I've been trying to paint everyday. Mostly they are little things - my Daily Smalls or the Doodlewash Daily/Monthly Prompts. Yesterday, I finally scratched an itch. I took this photo during last year's beach trip with Taylor, Rachael, Landen, and Raleigh and have been wanting to paint it for a long time. Finally, I did it! I'm hoping to find maybe two or maybe three more photos from the trip to paint. I'd like to be able to make a grouping. If they turn out well, I want to give them to Taylor and Rachael to hang in their new home. I'm pleased with this one. It's still kind of small but (6" x 8") but will appear larger when matted and framed.

Governor DeWine is slowly reopening Ohio. We'll see what the weeks ahead hold for us. Hopefully, people will be smart and have learned a lot during this "stay-at-home" time. Hopefully, we will be more attuned to others' needs and more willing to put others first. May we realize that it's not all about ourselves.

One can hope.

Take care and thanks so much for reading!

Surprise! I'm Back!

Wow! This is a record "another post" rate! 

We're still on stay-at-home restrictions here in Ohio. Governor DeWine is lifting restrictions slowly. I do have mixed feelings about him not requiring the wearing of masks once businesses open. I feel that without mandating the wearing of them, it will just be business as usual. Wearing a mask, I feel, doesn't only help protect me but also other people. I don't want to be part of the problem but part of the solution. We'll all be sitting back, watching with ongoing reevaluation, I'm sure. New and different world now.

Mom is still here with me - since being discharged from the hospital March 24th. Her senior community is still under quarantine and once she returns, she'll have to self-quarantine for 14 days. With this in mind, we're trying to time her return and her self-quarantine with the state and facility lifting of the quarantine. I don't want her to have to stay by herself any longer than absolutely necessary. We both look forward to and dread being able to see Daddy once the quarantine is lifted. This has been the longest separation Mom and Daddy have experienced in their 69 year marriage since Daddy was discharged from the Army in 1950. It will be so good to get them together again but will no longer have the virus to blame for his having to stay in the memory care facility. Hopefully, the fact that he'll be able to see Mom daily, will soften the blow. 

What have you been doing during this stay-at-home period? Have you learned anything new? Have you started any projects that you've been wanting to try or gotten back to projects that you previously put on the back burner for when you had more time? 

Having all this time on my hands has been new and different. I've gotten on the bread baking bandwagon! It's been almost impossible to find yeast and flour, though. Sometimes I can find one but not the other. I began a sourdough starter, have joined a sourdough bread-making group on Facebook, and am generally reading up on how to do this. It's like having a pet!! Feeding and tending to it daily. My first starter was successful for a bit and then I don't know what happened but it wasn't good! So, I dumped that one and started a second one. This one is doing better plus I like the helpfulness and support of the Facebook group. 

I'm still enjoying various watercolor interviews and classes on Facebook and Instagram. There are so many offerings out there. Danny Gregory, of Everyday Matters, does a Facebook Live daily at noon. It has been a lot of fun and a wonderful break in the day. Brenda Murray, of Studio 56 Boutique, has had some wonderful interviews with Urban Sketchers artists. All month, I have participated in the Doodlewash April prompts and have drawn/painted a picture depicting the daily prompt in my journal. My pieces are tiny - about 1" square. I'm looking forward to the May prompts. Doing them is challenging but not overwhelming. I've also continued my Daily Smalls - about 2" square - and tomorrow will mark four months completed! I love looking back at each completed page!! I'm grateful for the time this stay-at-home period has given me to scratch this artistic itch of mine. I suppose this is a definite positive - making me slow down some and allowing me to focus. 

My lettuce is growing, the peonies are budding, time is moving on. One deep breath at a time. One day at a time.

I challenge you to grow. It's spring! Cook a new dish, learn a new skill, plant something, make a new online friend (I've "met" so many art friends on Facebook), get out and walk, check out a new park or trail. There are so many things we can still do.

If you have stretched yourself during this challenging time - done something unusual for you - I'd love to hear about it!!

Until next time - thanks for reading and take care!

Enough Already, 2020!

2020. I hardly know what to say. The year started off quietly and unsuspecting. January passed. February, too. Then March happened.  

March - what a month! Mom turned 90 years young then just several days later we had to put their dear pup, Lily, to sleep. She was 17 years old, deaf, had a malignant tumor and diabetes. She still loved going for her walks and never missed a meal. I think she may have had another tumor in a different location. She became sick and the next day, after returning home from the vet, had a stroke or seizure and was unable to stand up. I took Lily, Mom and Daddy to the Care Center Emergency Vet. They recommended that she be put to sleep because they couldn't give her any quality of life. Lily had 17 wonderful years and the joy she provided was immeasurable. She was a sweet and wonderful pup. I must say, she had impeccable timing - it was like she knew what was ahead for us.

Not even a week later, Mom was admitted to the hospital for another GI bleed. If you remember back, she had a time during 2018 (80 days inpatient) but made it through 2019 without a single hospitalization. They discharged her two days later only for me to carry her back to the ER the next day. She stayed eight nights in all. The question for us has always been "what will we do with Daddy" if she had to be hospitalized again. The evening she was admitted for the second time, I had to make the tough decision to place Daddy in memory care at the senior community where they live. He just can't stay by himself and I can't be there 24/7. I had to hand him off to a nurse at the door that night - one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

The Coronavirus was just gaining speed when Mom was first hospitalized. They went from allowing visitors, to only one visitor, to no visitors. Their senior community was placed on quarantine. When Mom was discharged the second time, I brought her home with me. I just couldn't let her go back to her independent living apartment where there would be no Lily, no Daddy, and she couldn't associate with any of the other residents. She is still here at our house and we're trying to time her return just right. Once she returns to her apartment, she'll have to self-quarantine for fourteen days. We're trying to schedule/complete any necessary appointments before she returns. If she's on Day 14 of her self-quarantine and has to go off campus for an appointment, her 14-day count will start over. Ugh! Once she returns to her place, I won't even be able to go in/out. She'll be pretty much isolated except for her phone.

We've talked with Daddy by phone and we've had video chats with him. I've had a couple of window visits. He doesn't know yet that this is going to be a permanent placement - keeps asking us when we're coming to get him. Breaks my heart. I just can't allow myself to think about it right now. It's just too much. So, I keep smiling - put a smile in my voice when I talk with him and blame the virus - "no one is going anywhere right now", "you're in a good place where people can take care of you, fix your meals, etc." It's tough! This was not in the Only Child Handbook!

To top it all off, Andy has been furloughed. He had wanted to retire May 1st but then asked to stay on so we can have some income and insurance through the end of the year. The answer was no. Darn!

Andy and I had our 36th wedding anniversary this week. For better or worse or pandemic, right? I look forward to a dinner out in a restaurant whenever to celebrate. 

Our Ohio Governor DeWine and Dr. Amy Acton have been wonderful in how they have handled this pandemic. They've made painful and often unpopular decisions which they have explained to the public during their daily briefings with honesty and compassion. I, along with most all Ohioans, appreciate their updates. I also greatly admire them and would not want to be in their positions. We are basically staying at home, wearing masks when we venture out, wearing gloves to pump gas, maintaining social distance when we have to go out, and washing our hands non-stop! And, for the record, I've bought only one large pack of toilet paper, no paper towels, no wipes, and no hand sanitizer!

I'm using this time to focus my energy on getting Mom stronger, hoping Daddy stays well, and also praying fervently that I stay healthy so I can help them. 

I'm filling my time with knitting and watercolor painting and am grateful for the concentration these two past-times require. Both are
very meditative - the watercolor perhaps more so than knitting. Trying to hone my skills, I've been doing tiny little paintings from daily prompts, keeping a calendar with small paintings, and taking watercolor classes online. These have been a lot of fun! We are so fortunate to have access to technology that connects us all with just a click or two - Google Duo, Zoom, Facebook Video through Messenger, Skype, FaceTime, etc. I've learned more about these different options than I ever thought I'd know! I've knit on Zoom with different groups, met with art friends via Facebook Messenger Video, had video chats with Daddy via Google Duo, and visited with my sons, daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren via FaceTime. If we have to be quarantined, I'm thankful it's now and not years ago!

I've planted lots of lettuce. It's really too early for anything else but I couldn't resist the urge and planted three tomato plants. The lettuces are doing fine but it didn't take the tomato plants long before they froze. Not my fault we had highs in the 60s-70s before temps returned to overnight lows in the 20s-30s. Those warm temperatures gave me a false sense of planting security! The daffodils have been pretty and they'll have to tide me over until everything else starts blooming.  

You know the saying, "Misery loves company"? Well, I guess I agree with that. I find it somewhat comforting that I'm not in this boat alone. That others are going through the same thing. That we all can commiserate with each other - have empathy for each other's situation. 

It's true - we're all in this together. And, also true - this too shall pass.

Enough already, 2020! You've definitely made your mark.

I hope to see each of you on the other side of this as we find and adjust to our new normal.

Stay healthy! 

Wash your hands!

Love you and thanks for reading! 

(Coronavirus Data as of 9:00 PM tonight: United States - Confirmed Cases 675,243; Recovered 55,561; Deaths 34,562)

Warp Speed

Life continues to move along at warp speed much to my dismay. Here we are - almost at the end of 2019! How in the world did that happen so fast?!? 

I continue with so much to do around the house to straighten, discard, save, merge Mom and Daddy's things. They kept everything! I have a couple Farmer's Almanacs back to 1891, ration books from World War II in the 1940s, all the cards and well-wishes Mom was sent in celebration of my birth 60+ years ago, Daddy's reading certificates from grade school in the 1930s, the hospital bill from when my Mom's younger brother was born, etc. etc. While tedious to go through every single thing, it has been fun. Reuniting my memory with my dance recital pictures, all my school pictures, and pictures of relatives no longer with us. A treasured history in things. 

I have to be realistic when dealing with all these things. I will no doubt keep too much but must realize that my children will probably want none of it. So, if there's a better place for any of these life bits, it's up to me to see to it that it gets there. For example, I have my grandfather's diploma, yearbooks, his sword, pictures, newspaper articles, and more from his time at Danville Military Institute from 1922-1924. The Institute is now Danville Community College and they are interested in having this memorabilia to add to their archives. So, I will make a trip back home sometime to make sure these items get to where they belong - where they can be treasured and enjoyed. 

To help deal with the stress of life, I've picked up my pencil, pen, and paintbrushes. While my love for knitting hasn't dimmed, painting is a different kind of zen for me. It's very meditative. I've found so many wonderful YouTube watercolor videos, Facebook art groups, and online classes to inspire me. I'm also taking a class at Plaza Art in Cincinnati. I've dabbled for years in watercolor but never made the time to practice. It truly, absolutely, and certainly makes a difference! I'm trying to do a little something on a daily basis. Keeping a Sketch Journal has helped with my daily practice and has been lots of fun. What I have learned - the most important lesson - is that what I do doesn't have to be perfect. That's an important life lesson, as well. 

I got away to Emerald Isle in August with Taylor, Rachael, Landen, and Raleigh. Such a long drive from Ohio to North Carolina but totally worth it! I swear, at one point, I began to wonder if they'd moved the east coast since last time I made the trip! We had an awesome time!!!!!! Vitamin Sea - just what I needed.

A couple weeks after returning from the beach, I had to say good-bye to one of my best furry friends ever. Earl Gray's health had been declining for a while but it was painfully obvious it was time to send him on his journey over the rainbow bridge. Sixteen years old and such a wonderful cat. I still miss and look for him daily. That just leaves me with one kitty - Gracie. I can't remember ever having just one cat. Maybe if and when the time is right, she and I will add another. We'll see.

Mom and Daddy have settled into their new digs at Otterbein as well as can be expected. Daddy turned 91 years old in early October and is hanging in there. Suffering with back pain and dementia, his days, as he might say, are "fair to middling". Mom, who is 89 years of age, will quickly tell you that getting old is not for sissies! It's tough on her dealing with Daddy - the change in roles, abilities, etc. - after almost 75 years of being together. They will celebrate their 69th wedding anniversary this December. WOW! She has met a lot
of new friends and really enjoys the concerts, classes, activities, and more that Otterbein offers. I'm very thankful that she is able to adapt so well to yet another life change.

Both sons, Brian and Taylor, came for a visit the end of September. I didn't tell Mom and Daddy because I wanted it to be a surprise and it was! We were able to take Daddy out for a 91st birthday dinner all together. It was so great having them. Once your children marry and have families of their own, it's rare that you get to spend time with just your children. I don't know about you - although I love the wives and children and time with them - time with just my boys is super special. Seeing them interact with each other brings back so many precious memories of when they were little. I loved every single second of their visit and hope it will become a regular occurrence. I think they really enjoyed seeing each other, too. It doesn't happen often. They had a great time - fished and fished and fished some more! They also brought their old Nintendo and it was just liking watching them all those many years ago - playing and laughing like crazy! 

Andy and I took the old pontoon out on the lake (Caesar Creek Lake) to catch some autumn color. I didn't think we'd have any color - it's been so dry that I thought the leaves might just dry up and fall off the trees without changing. We ended up having a decent bit of fall color but during the lake cruise, the sky was much more impressive. The clouds were stunning!

Thanksgiving is upon us and Brian and family will be making their annual quick trip from Virginia to see us. I can hardly wait to see the granddaughters! It's been a year. So many changes at their ages of 5 and 8. Thank goodness for FaceTime! At least, I have been able to lay eyes on them since last seeing them in person. I wish I could travel to see them but with all that's been going on this year, that's been tough. Maybe in 2020. 

Here in Ohio, the evergreens are loaded with cones and avoiding the Woolly Worms on the roads has been close kin to driving on an obstacle course. Does this mean a hard cold winter could be on the horizon? I certainly hope so! I LOVE cold weather and lots of snow. Seeing my world covered in white just quiets my soul. I know I'm one of a few but so what! I embrace it and love to be out in it! Invigorating and peaceful all at the same time. Actually, we've already had our first serious (covered all the grass) snowfall here -- about 3 inches November 11th-12th. It was beautiful!!!

So, I leave you now to go continue cleaning and merging households. As the holiday season fast approaches, I'm putting a reminder out there for both you and me to REMEMBER TO BREATHE! Gracie also wants to throw her kitty two cents worth in and remind us to take care during these stressful but joyful next few weeks.  

Thanks so much for visiting me and reading For the Love of Fiber!